ENLARGEMENT WITH ANDREW

                                                                    My improved story 2







When I opened the old cracked door of Room 14 I found myself in a horror show. Rats roamed the class like an Egyptian Emperor ''Duck!'' screamed Jensen to Jon ,suddenly Jon had a dramatic fall as he hit the hollow floor. 
Maybe if I close my eyes for a minute the class might calm down................... (No difference) The sun was  beaming through the window like a flamethrower. the teachers are slacking off as if today was Christmas, this is not how I imagined Christmas. The window has scratch marks made into the sentence less work more fun. Without warning a tickling feeling shot up my back I screamed to Anna ''Get it off Anna, oh please get it off!'' she yanked the poor critter right off my back and I let out a sigh of relief  ''Whew'' just then the door slams open ''WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!'' scorched Mr Skits ''oh oh.''   

                                      my improved story

Come in and you'll see the trees standing like an entrance to a castle. Listen to the branch prisoners rattling their chain,the birds zoom across the sky like shooting stars, you,ll say the forest is a dream land. The grass is like bright green glitter leading the way and it's all wrapped up with a calm cold wind filling you with happiness.

written by ANDREW DAVEY  edited by TEACHER.

Desert

Desert

As I walked through the desert my feet sank into the boiling sand. My feet burn so I pull my feet out as fast as I can. I’m so hot  that I  feel I could  pass out and I can feel the hot heat rayes.My eyes burn from the sun and they are now red and sore.

I keep trying to walk but my feet start to ache even more. I finally tried to walk and I burnt my feet so I was really relieved when I saw a camel passing by so I hopped onto it I was exhausted after all the walking.The sun's rays are a heater on a way-too-high heat.

As I rode the humpy camel a wave of scenery rushed by. A spider cartwheeled down a hill. A rattle snake slithered along and the camel  ran as fast as a cheetah to get away from it . The sand shone a golden brown colour the sand dunes looked 5000 meters high and I spotted a tumbling weed rolling by. My eyes started to play tricks on me and I thought I saw a cheetah

 I could hear the soft whooshing wind ,it showed no mercy to annoy me. It was so quiet i was forced to listen to the faint sound of the camel

hooves on the sand.The wind started up not so strong

and I heard it whistle quietly in my ear.

I found out what sand tastes like!it wasn't  very nice it made my mouth all gritty.

By Andrew, Gizelle and Catherine

I do not like the desert at all!

                                 ANDREW'S WETLAND STORY

As I steppedfoot into the wetland I was blinded  by the sun reflecting on the water. the smell was destinktive becuause it was a mix of roten water and overdated mud. I heard the small waterfall bumping agianst the rocks as it rolled into the swamp.Another thing that coaght my eye was the school of fish that were looking for food.I felt the weak mud forcing me deeper into the earth.The taste wasn't pleasant at all.I felt my teeth tighten as the mudy air went in my mouth and straight back out. the noises grew as the birds and frogs broke into song.The dead Leaves drifted along the calm but stinky swamp.